If only it was the ice cream. As long as the nuts are almonds, I can't stand when they are pecans or walnuts. I mean, that's just not rocky road ice cream. But I digress.
Things are a bit tough for me right now with the whole family thing (if you didn't pick up on it in the last post). I am trying to stay positive, trying to focus on the things I do have control of right now, and trying to work through a lot of the issues that our journey towards children has brought up. In general things are good, Travis and I are getting along quite well and I am so happy with our crazy aminals. Too much fun to be had by one person, let me tell you. I guess I have just reached a point now where I really don't believe that this is going to happen for us. Even if we were continuing with fertility treatment, going crazy with in vitro, or if we were trying every adoption agency out there in hopes of finding one that would approve us I would have little to no hope that things would work out well for us. I guess I have just decided somewhere in my subconcious that some things aren't meant to be and the sooner I realize that and come to terms with it the sooner I will be able to mourn that loss and move past it.
I am a bit nervous about posting this for multiple reasons. I don't neccessarily like exposing myself on the internet, and I am of course paranoid that this will in some way come back to haunt me when it comes to us pursing adoption again. But this struggle for us has been very lonely, lots of topics are so taboo in certain circles so it is hard to talk about all of your feelings and issues, so I guess I am hoping that someone will read this that has been through this sort of thing themselves. It is very unnerving to not know if what you are feeling is normal, or if all of the decisions you are making are for the right reasons/in the right frame of mind.
I do appreciate the love and support we have gotten so far from family and friends alike. But as much as people try to help and be supportive, I feel that right now I just really need to hear from someone in the same boat as us. All of this ignoring what has happened, not talking about certain things with certain people, and the feeling that everyone really wants us to just stop talking/feeling about it so it will finally go away and stop making everyone feel akward is starting to take it's toll. All of this bitterness and resentment is building up inside, and as hard as I am working on not taking my feelings and turning them into guilt, that is exactly what is happening because I don't feel like I can relate to anyone about this experience and therefore it is staying pent up.
Thanks to those of you who actually finished reading this. I am sorry to unload, and I am not saying in any way that I am not totally appreciative of all of the love and support we have recieved. Some of this is just my personal paranoid perception of life and how others perceive me. I love you all. And if you have some similar experience to this, please let me know, even if I don't really know you, or if you don't even usually read this blog. Thanks.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
All Quiet on the Home Front
Long time no hear, things have been quite crazy with us lately. Travis is working hard to keep up with his planning and grading for his classes, and I am having a mid-graduate life crisis (no, nothing new, just the latest in a long line of debilitating 'what have I gotten myself into and what do I do with it now?' freak outs). Puppies and kitties are growing and loving and being ornery as always. I love them. :-)
Not anything new on the adoption front, I think I am protecting myself for a bit while I heal. I still feel the draw, the desire, the promptings, but I just can't sit around an dwell on it day in and day out right now. I have tried to push it back to the back of my mind until I get through some more pressing issues with stuff, then I will bring it back up with myself. I don't really keep up with the list-serves I am on because it gets really hard to read about everyone bringing home their little ones. It also helps me from feeling bitter as people complain about things they are going through with their agency or their kids and a part of me just wants to shout 'Why can't you be happy you are in that blessed situation in the first place?' That is not very constructive, and also not very fair to those people who are dealing with such issues. So I am laying low for a while to work some of those things out and get myself to a better place.
I am hoping that things are going well for everyone, we love you all and can't wait to start seeing family at the holidays.
Not anything new on the adoption front, I think I am protecting myself for a bit while I heal. I still feel the draw, the desire, the promptings, but I just can't sit around an dwell on it day in and day out right now. I have tried to push it back to the back of my mind until I get through some more pressing issues with stuff, then I will bring it back up with myself. I don't really keep up with the list-serves I am on because it gets really hard to read about everyone bringing home their little ones. It also helps me from feeling bitter as people complain about things they are going through with their agency or their kids and a part of me just wants to shout 'Why can't you be happy you are in that blessed situation in the first place?' That is not very constructive, and also not very fair to those people who are dealing with such issues. So I am laying low for a while to work some of those things out and get myself to a better place.
I am hoping that things are going well for everyone, we love you all and can't wait to start seeing family at the holidays.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Say a Little Prayer
Today makes it exactly 8 months since we lost our baby. Hopefully everyone can take a couple of minutes out of their day and say a prayer for all of those out there who have gone through a similar experience, it is devastating to anyone at any stage of pregnancy. We knew our angel for exactly one week before God called them back home.
It has been hard to deal with the fact that we would have a tiny one of our own right now with Travis's eyes and my tiny head and curly hair if only things had gone differently. Then I think about how much Travis and I have grown in the past 8 months, and even though we went through some really difficult times, we are closer now than ever before. And I have done a lot of soul searching and have decided that the time is here to make a lot of changes about how I view the world and how I deal with hardship (good-bye guilt, mostly). Most importantly I have come a few steps closer to really surrendering it all to God. I have realized that my pursuit of children was obviously on my terms and was a reaction to the fact that I feel as if I can't control anything in my life. While I am by no means there yet, or perfect in any way, I know my relationship with the Father is closer than ever before and it has given me a sense of peace that I have not known in a very long time. I suppose there truly is a silver lining to every situation, sometimes it just takes a long time to pull back far enough to see it.
So again, please say a little prayer for those who have angels in heaven, that they may find a sense of peace with their grief and not give up hope on having children in their life.
It has been hard to deal with the fact that we would have a tiny one of our own right now with Travis's eyes and my tiny head and curly hair if only things had gone differently. Then I think about how much Travis and I have grown in the past 8 months, and even though we went through some really difficult times, we are closer now than ever before. And I have done a lot of soul searching and have decided that the time is here to make a lot of changes about how I view the world and how I deal with hardship (good-bye guilt, mostly). Most importantly I have come a few steps closer to really surrendering it all to God. I have realized that my pursuit of children was obviously on my terms and was a reaction to the fact that I feel as if I can't control anything in my life. While I am by no means there yet, or perfect in any way, I know my relationship with the Father is closer than ever before and it has given me a sense of peace that I have not known in a very long time. I suppose there truly is a silver lining to every situation, sometimes it just takes a long time to pull back far enough to see it.
So again, please say a little prayer for those who have angels in heaven, that they may find a sense of peace with their grief and not give up hope on having children in their life.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Hidey Ho
Well, all is quiet on the home front. Travis just had his last day at Circuit City (so he says), he is getting ready for school to start, and I am plugging away on my manuscript. I just wish an experiment would work. Just one. But then what fun would science be?
We have talked to the agency, and it sounds like things are positive and we are going to remain optimistic. We were told that it looks pretty certain that our application will be accepted the next time we apply, in about 6 months, as long as we are through counseling. So we are not too worried, we are going to continue counseling, and we are going to be patient. God's time, not ours.
The past two messages at church (which are unfortunately the only two we've gone to this summer, shame on us) have really hit home with us. The summer series was 'Say What?' and focuses on tough/weird lessons that are in the New Testament. The first one we saw was about Jesus walking on water, and Peter getting out of the boat. The first part was kind of ho-hum, where exactly is this going. But when Pete got to the actual verses, I felt like I was the only person in the audience and he was talking directly to me.
28"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
29"Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
Matthew 14
I had never really thought about this passage, except of course Jesus can walk on water, he's Jesus. But Pete made a statement about what Jesus said to Peter that really hit home. Jesus was not condemning Peter's lack of faith in God, otherwise Peter would have never been able to get out of the boat in the first place. He was upset about Peter's lack of faith in himself. Then Pete said these words and I felt them to my core.
"Jesus is saying 'Don't lose faith in who I've called you to be or what I've called you to do.'"
So I feel quite affirmed in our choice to adopt, not that we were questioning it to begin with, but it was a message that I needed to hear and I felt it came right from God to my ears.
Last Sunday was about dying to yourself in order to have life. Kent had a great visual with a tandem bike and talked about letting God in that front seat to steer and to brake and to light the way for you. And we all have a stuff basket (full of food, or alcohol, or other vices). And even when we are on the back seat letting God drive, we can still be buried in our stuff basket and miss things that God is telling us, and the directions in which we are going. I think that the adoption has been in my stuff basket. I have been so obsessed with controling some aspect of my life, and I had decided this would be it. Since the decision to have kids naturally had been taken away from us, I thought maybe this would be a way to take back some control. Sunday helped me to realize this, and I have let it go (or am actively trying, it is always a process) and I think it is going to help me immensely.
Well, thanks for sticking with me this whole time, I know it has been a bit long, but I really wanted to share this with you all. Love you all.
We have talked to the agency, and it sounds like things are positive and we are going to remain optimistic. We were told that it looks pretty certain that our application will be accepted the next time we apply, in about 6 months, as long as we are through counseling. So we are not too worried, we are going to continue counseling, and we are going to be patient. God's time, not ours.
The past two messages at church (which are unfortunately the only two we've gone to this summer, shame on us) have really hit home with us. The summer series was 'Say What?' and focuses on tough/weird lessons that are in the New Testament. The first one we saw was about Jesus walking on water, and Peter getting out of the boat. The first part was kind of ho-hum, where exactly is this going. But when Pete got to the actual verses, I felt like I was the only person in the audience and he was talking directly to me.
28"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
29"Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
Matthew 14
I had never really thought about this passage, except of course Jesus can walk on water, he's Jesus. But Pete made a statement about what Jesus said to Peter that really hit home. Jesus was not condemning Peter's lack of faith in God, otherwise Peter would have never been able to get out of the boat in the first place. He was upset about Peter's lack of faith in himself. Then Pete said these words and I felt them to my core.
"Jesus is saying 'Don't lose faith in who I've called you to be or what I've called you to do.'"
So I feel quite affirmed in our choice to adopt, not that we were questioning it to begin with, but it was a message that I needed to hear and I felt it came right from God to my ears.
Last Sunday was about dying to yourself in order to have life. Kent had a great visual with a tandem bike and talked about letting God in that front seat to steer and to brake and to light the way for you. And we all have a stuff basket (full of food, or alcohol, or other vices). And even when we are on the back seat letting God drive, we can still be buried in our stuff basket and miss things that God is telling us, and the directions in which we are going. I think that the adoption has been in my stuff basket. I have been so obsessed with controling some aspect of my life, and I had decided this would be it. Since the decision to have kids naturally had been taken away from us, I thought maybe this would be a way to take back some control. Sunday helped me to realize this, and I have let it go (or am actively trying, it is always a process) and I think it is going to help me immensely.
Well, thanks for sticking with me this whole time, I know it has been a bit long, but I really wanted to share this with you all. Love you all.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
The Adoption Community
Okay, besides the fact that these ladies (representing awesome adopting families) are an endless fountain of information I can not believe the support I have been getting from people I don't know. How awesome is that! So I would like to thank them 'publicly' for being so wonderful. Especially Julie. Check out her blog OurJourneytoEthiopia, the link is also under blogs on the sidebar. She spent a couple of hours on email with me on Saturday morning, talking through things with me and has been a complete blessing to have in my life right now.
The more I think about this, and the more I pray, the more I know that this is going to be a wonderful experience. There will be some heartache, but the reward will be infinitely greater than whatever may try to get us down. And I am lucky to have a husband as wonderful as Travis to go through this with me. Where would I be without him (besides probably still living with mom and dad :-))? God has blessed in so many ways, it is time for me to start focusing on those instead of on what I think we need but don't have.
The more I think about this, and the more I pray, the more I know that this is going to be a wonderful experience. There will be some heartache, but the reward will be infinitely greater than whatever may try to get us down. And I am lucky to have a husband as wonderful as Travis to go through this with me. Where would I be without him (besides probably still living with mom and dad :-))? God has blessed in so many ways, it is time for me to start focusing on those instead of on what I think we need but don't have.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Crazy Days
Well, it has been kind of crazy here lately. Then I went to post and I was locked out of my blog because somehow it had been flagged as SPAM!! But it is all cleared up, and blogger said it actually happens kind of regularly. But worry no more, I am back.
So, some of you have heard, others have not. I recieved a phone call this past Wednesday and was informed our application is not going to be accepted at this time. We are not exactly sure what is going on, we have been told two different things, but what I actually was told on the phone was it was due to our couples counseling. They felt our we were not ready to start a homestudy if we were still going, so maybe in 6-12 months we could try to re-apply if we have completed our counseling and everything is taken care of.
I have ranted and raved about lots of things related to this to anyone who will listen (it is probably a good thing I couldn't post), done lots of thinking, not enough praying, and soaked up advice like a sponge. We will not let this get us down. We both know that our hearts are 100% into this and it is something that God has layed on our hearts. So the question that I am sure everyone is asking is WHAT NEXT? I am glad that you asked. Here's the list.
So, some of you have heard, others have not. I recieved a phone call this past Wednesday and was informed our application is not going to be accepted at this time. We are not exactly sure what is going on, we have been told two different things, but what I actually was told on the phone was it was due to our couples counseling. They felt our we were not ready to start a homestudy if we were still going, so maybe in 6-12 months we could try to re-apply if we have completed our counseling and everything is taken care of.
I have ranted and raved about lots of things related to this to anyone who will listen (it is probably a good thing I couldn't post), done lots of thinking, not enough praying, and soaked up advice like a sponge. We will not let this get us down. We both know that our hearts are 100% into this and it is something that God has layed on our hearts. So the question that I am sure everyone is asking is WHAT NEXT? I am glad that you asked. Here's the list.
- We will continue to persue this. We plan on calling and talking to the agency about the issues, what we need to do, and what the chances of us getting accepted by the 6 month mark (12 months seems way too long to wait, I am still working on my patience).
- We are going to continue our counseling. It is not something to hide, or be ashamed of, and personally I applaud any couple who seeks help seeing as it is so much easier to either 1) ignore the problem and pretend you are the greatest married couple of all time or 2) throw in the towel and just get a divorce. I think that the more we work on our communtication, the better our relationship will be and the stronger we will become by going through this experience. We are also going to have our counselor write a letter for us to send in. Will this help? Don't know, but it is worth a shot.
- Keep our options open. There are a lot of agencies out there with wonderful, ethical practices that people have had great experiences with. And whether or not we choose to stay with CHI, I think that these places could be a wonderful resource for us in better understanding what is expected by the Ethiopian government and what is more of the agencies personal requirements.
- Despite my initial impulse to delete this blog the moment I received the phone call, I am going to keep on blogging. Not only to help you, our friends and family, stay up-to-date, but maybe to help someone else out there that is having a similar experience. This whole adoption thing is new to us, we don't know the best/easiest way to get through, and so therefore we are going to have struggles and hardships. Not everyone (would guess not even a fair percentage) of families who adopt are perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, sometimes big ones, but the important thing is did you learn from it?
- PRAY PRAY PRAY! The one resource I have not relied upon like I should is God. He lead us here for a reason, and though we may not know why or even how, we will trust in Him and remain faithful. I get frustrated because I feel like there were signs that lead us to adopt from Ethiopia through CHI, and now it hasn't worked out the way I wanted so were there signs, is this really what we are supposed to do? I could make myself crazy second guessing every little detail about the past 3 months, but I don't really feel like being crazy. I like being *relatively* sane at least most of the time, and well, God probably likes me that way too.
So please pray for us, and continue to pray for those who are in the process of building their family in this way, as well as those who are losing it. We love you all, and no worries, there will be kiddos one way or another. ;-)
Sunday, July 22, 2007
What Better Way to Procrastinate?
So I should be working on my manuscript, only one week until the boss-man is back. But instead I am hanging out on the internet trying to make myself feel better about life. I do however have a bunch of little updates and blurbs for you all, so here we go!
OUR NEW NEPHEW!!!!
Welcome to the newest Martin, Cale! He was born via C-section Friday morning around 7:50. I couldn't believe how stinking cute he is, and he has the tiniest head! Maybe I will post some pics later and you can see the differences between Cayton and Cale on their birth days. Cale was so quiet, he seems like he is going to be a pretty laid back kid. Brandon and Brandi are so excited to take him home, and Cayton is going to make a great big brother. He was loving on Cale Friday afternoon, and it was so adorable and sweet!
OUR BLESSED FAMILY AND FRIENDS
So on our way to KC we hitched a ride with my SIL Gretchen, Ashley, and Andrew. Of course the kiddos sat in back, so Gretchen and I had a great time having grown-up time up front and Travis was enjoying quality niece and nephew time in the back. Gretchen and I talked quite a bit about lots of things, including the adoption, teaching, future plans, and even family vacations. Just so you know Gretchen, I LOVE to drive everywhere too, especially if it is east. It is so wonderful to have people in our lives who are so supportive and so involved in this process with us. And so willing to let me know if they need to back off, just to let them know. Let me tell you, that quality is rare.
I also want to give a big cyber-hug to Pam. Travis and I are barely acquaintances with her and she has gone out of her way to to be super helpful and so there for us. Every time I have emailed her with a question it has taken less than 20 minutes for her to respond. I know she doesn't just sit there on her computer all day waiting for me to ask her a crazy I'm-freaking-way-out question, but none the less she is always there for me. How could we be so lucky to already have such a support network before we have really began the process?
And of course, all of you who even take the time to read this blog. Although it would be nice to get some more comments :-). Some people may think this whole internet blogging thing is way to public, and our issues are very personal, but this is so therapuetic for me, and it means so much to me the interest that everyone has shown. I want everyone to be able to stay up to date with what is going on without the giant phone tree/email list serve that it would otherwise take. So again, thanks for taking time out from your day to check in on us. We love you for it.
RANDOMNESS
OUR NEW NEPHEW!!!!
Welcome to the newest Martin, Cale! He was born via C-section Friday morning around 7:50. I couldn't believe how stinking cute he is, and he has the tiniest head! Maybe I will post some pics later and you can see the differences between Cayton and Cale on their birth days. Cale was so quiet, he seems like he is going to be a pretty laid back kid. Brandon and Brandi are so excited to take him home, and Cayton is going to make a great big brother. He was loving on Cale Friday afternoon, and it was so adorable and sweet!
OUR BLESSED FAMILY AND FRIENDS
So on our way to KC we hitched a ride with my SIL Gretchen, Ashley, and Andrew. Of course the kiddos sat in back, so Gretchen and I had a great time having grown-up time up front and Travis was enjoying quality niece and nephew time in the back. Gretchen and I talked quite a bit about lots of things, including the adoption, teaching, future plans, and even family vacations. Just so you know Gretchen, I LOVE to drive everywhere too, especially if it is east. It is so wonderful to have people in our lives who are so supportive and so involved in this process with us. And so willing to let me know if they need to back off, just to let them know. Let me tell you, that quality is rare.
I also want to give a big cyber-hug to Pam. Travis and I are barely acquaintances with her and she has gone out of her way to to be super helpful and so there for us. Every time I have emailed her with a question it has taken less than 20 minutes for her to respond. I know she doesn't just sit there on her computer all day waiting for me to ask her a crazy I'm-freaking-way-out question, but none the less she is always there for me. How could we be so lucky to already have such a support network before we have really began the process?
And of course, all of you who even take the time to read this blog. Although it would be nice to get some more comments :-). Some people may think this whole internet blogging thing is way to public, and our issues are very personal, but this is so therapuetic for me, and it means so much to me the interest that everyone has shown. I want everyone to be able to stay up to date with what is going on without the giant phone tree/email list serve that it would otherwise take. So again, thanks for taking time out from your day to check in on us. We love you for it.
RANDOMNESS
- I love to check out other people's blogs to see how things are going with their Ethiopian adoption. Sometimes it makes it hard though, it seems they already have their kids, or at least pictures, and it makes me long for that time when we will first be able to see the beautiful faces of our children who are waiting for us. And then we can have pictures of our babies, and the nursery, and all the adorable stuff my mom has bought for them. Seriously. I think she has a secret stash of baby stuff already and is just waiting for the green light to give it to me. I am not kidding, I specifically had to tell her not to buy stuff yet. Although this may be an acception. Love you mom!!!
- On Friday while we were in the waiting room at the hospital in KC, there was this so stinkin' cute baby girl walking around. She was about 1, had the cutest curly hair, a beautiful smile, and was so happy to see everyone. She played around with Andrew for a bit, then came over to say hi to me and to give me a high-five. Then she went over to Travis. She just stood there smiling at him, and reaching like she wanted to be picked up. So Travis picked her up and she giggled and started to play with his goatee. I almost cried because she was African-American, and Travis looked so right holding her. They were so smiley with each other. Ohhh, I can't wait!!!
- So all of our stuff is in the mail and I am waiting patiently to get the email from Sharon saying if we have been accepted. Patiently as in I check my email about 5 times a day (even today, which is Sunday, which they are not at work, and which no postal service runs). I will let everyone know as soon as I know, which will hopefully be in a few days. So keep checking, important news will be posted here soon!
- HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No spoilers, I just had to express how happy I was with the book. I think JK ended the book series in just about the best way possible. Although I am very sad it is over. Very sad.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Check This Out!!!
So the first Ethiopian referal pics were taken down off of the CHI site becuase you can't legally post pictures of your child until they are legally yours. So... check out this blog and you can see the pictures of Micah www.kevstac-ouradoptionjourney.blogspot.com/! It is official, they had their court date YESTERDAY and Kevin and Stacey are now officially his parents. How adorable is he? (Thanks for the heads up Pam, I've been a bit slack on checking out the blogs for a few days)
The past couple of days have been emotionally a bit tough, but wow, does this make up for it. Yesterday we got our info to complete our application in the mail, so hopefully it will be in St. Louis by Friday. Today I get to see pictures of an amazingly beautiful boy in Ethiopia waiting for his family to come and get him. And now I can see our kids over there waiting for us. A big brother or sister whose mommy will be having a new little one in the not so distant future. This has helped to make it so much more real to me.
It also makes me so very sad to think about what will have to happen in order for them to be able to come to us, and then I feel a little bit guilty. Am I secretly hoping that something bad will happen to someone so that I can have their children? I've seen some other people mention this, and never really thought about it like that before. While I am going through all of this paperwork and waiting and praying for children, someone else is carrying our baby and loving on our toddler. Something will have to happen to that woman, or is happening to her or to her family, that will neccessitate someone halfway around the world raise her children. It is hard to think about knowing how badly we want children, and how we feel that we could never give them up, no matter what. And that is exactly what will have to happen for us to bring home our kids. And the loss our children will feel. Even if they are young enough that they won't really remember ever not living with us or in the States, they will always know that there was another mommy out there, another family who did what we would deem unthinkable. It is a messed up world, and so unfair to those who are so innocent, but with God's love and guidance I know that we will be able to help our children make sense of what will happen to their birth family and show them that they are children of God in every sense of the word.
Sorry for the serious turn this post took, I really just wanted you all to be able to rejoice with me about another family's happy experience. God is at work here, I can see it, I can feel it, and I know it is true. So please, let us all remember to say a prayer those who have to lose a family and for those who will gain one through that horrible loss.
The past couple of days have been emotionally a bit tough, but wow, does this make up for it. Yesterday we got our info to complete our application in the mail, so hopefully it will be in St. Louis by Friday. Today I get to see pictures of an amazingly beautiful boy in Ethiopia waiting for his family to come and get him. And now I can see our kids over there waiting for us. A big brother or sister whose mommy will be having a new little one in the not so distant future. This has helped to make it so much more real to me.
It also makes me so very sad to think about what will have to happen in order for them to be able to come to us, and then I feel a little bit guilty. Am I secretly hoping that something bad will happen to someone so that I can have their children? I've seen some other people mention this, and never really thought about it like that before. While I am going through all of this paperwork and waiting and praying for children, someone else is carrying our baby and loving on our toddler. Something will have to happen to that woman, or is happening to her or to her family, that will neccessitate someone halfway around the world raise her children. It is hard to think about knowing how badly we want children, and how we feel that we could never give them up, no matter what. And that is exactly what will have to happen for us to bring home our kids. And the loss our children will feel. Even if they are young enough that they won't really remember ever not living with us or in the States, they will always know that there was another mommy out there, another family who did what we would deem unthinkable. It is a messed up world, and so unfair to those who are so innocent, but with God's love and guidance I know that we will be able to help our children make sense of what will happen to their birth family and show them that they are children of God in every sense of the word.
Sorry for the serious turn this post took, I really just wanted you all to be able to rejoice with me about another family's happy experience. God is at work here, I can see it, I can feel it, and I know it is true. So please, let us all remember to say a prayer those who have to lose a family and for those who will gain one through that horrible loss.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Housekeeping
Okay, so I am doing some moving and improving in the left-hand column as you may see. Trying to get a) actual links of use and b) them organized in the easiest way possible for you all to use (and of course myself, but that is a given). I've added a story the NY Times did on Ethiopian adoption, and I think it is a really good article to read. It highlights not only some of the concerns about the growing rate of adoption from this country, but it really emphasizes one of the reasons we chose Ethiopia. The government requires humanitarian aid from any agency that is licensed to adopt there. Check it out.
I also found an interesting blog entry about transracial adoption, on Mayhem and Magic. http://mayhemandmagic.typepad.com/mayhem_and_magic/2006/12/adoption_faq.html I thought it was very well written, and addresses some concerns that I have about our upcoming family. Travis and I have had many discussions about the best way to go about raising our future children, how to make them well adjusted, not feel like they have been denied something about thier heritage or culture. I am sure that every family that adopts out of thier racial/cultural group faces these dilemas, and I know that we will do our best. With lots of hard work and God on our side, our children will be happy, loved, supported, and above all, part of our family. I know with all of our family and friends with us that everything will work out.
I also found an interesting blog entry about transracial adoption, on Mayhem and Magic. http://mayhemandmagic.typepad.com/mayhem_and_magic/2006/12/adoption_faq.html I thought it was very well written, and addresses some concerns that I have about our upcoming family. Travis and I have had many discussions about the best way to go about raising our future children, how to make them well adjusted, not feel like they have been denied something about thier heritage or culture. I am sure that every family that adopts out of thier racial/cultural group faces these dilemas, and I know that we will do our best. With lots of hard work and God on our side, our children will be happy, loved, supported, and above all, part of our family. I know with all of our family and friends with us that everything will work out.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Two Weeks Take Two
So, we never got the envelope back for not enough postage, not even yesterday which was my lucky day (good things always happen on Friday the 13th). My contacts came though, so that was a bit exciting. And the quote for the new A/C was not as crazy expensive as we'd thought, plus Travis's medical insurance will help pay for getting his wisdom teeth out. It was an insane week, let me tell you.
Any-hoo, we will be on try two to get our application completed so the two week waiting period will start. Finally. I am calming down quite a bit about this entire situation, I have got to let it go and give it over to God. I think that is the biggest problem I am having right now in handling this situation. It is hard to just let go, especially when we have been trying so hard for so long. I feel the need to control the situation so that if something goes wrong I can point to a specific thing/action/oversight and say, see this is what went wrong. Next time I will know better and it will work for us. That way it isn't so scary that arbitrary things happen that are beyond my control that will deny us our family yet again. It's not that I don't trust God to get it right, I guess I just don't trust myself to allow it to happen.
So I am expecting our countdown to begin on Friday I suppose. That should give us plenty of time to get the stuff together, get it in the mail, and let it get to St. Louis. That is if the post office hasn't upped postage on us again. JK :-)
Any-hoo, we will be on try two to get our application completed so the two week waiting period will start. Finally. I am calming down quite a bit about this entire situation, I have got to let it go and give it over to God. I think that is the biggest problem I am having right now in handling this situation. It is hard to just let go, especially when we have been trying so hard for so long. I feel the need to control the situation so that if something goes wrong I can point to a specific thing/action/oversight and say, see this is what went wrong. Next time I will know better and it will work for us. That way it isn't so scary that arbitrary things happen that are beyond my control that will deny us our family yet again. It's not that I don't trust God to get it right, I guess I just don't trust myself to allow it to happen.
So I am expecting our countdown to begin on Friday I suppose. That should give us plenty of time to get the stuff together, get it in the mail, and let it get to St. Louis. That is if the post office hasn't upped postage on us again. JK :-)
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Booklist
Since I am a dork, and a reading fool, I thought it may be useful to give everyone a list of books that I have found helpful. It will be a bit slow at first, as I don't want to put anything up until I have read it, and I am waiting on our application before really diving in. That and Harry Potter book 7 comes out in 13 days, 9 hours, and 28 minutes. Of course I know the seconds, but they change so fast, what is the point of listing them really?
So I just finished 'Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother.' It is a very short, very easy read about a woman's experience with open adoption and transracial adoption. I don't know if it is for everyone, personally I think it was wonderful, but some people may be upset by her total honesty with her thoughts and emotions during the entire experience. It is nice to know that I am not some horrible person because of some of the thoughts that I have and some of the issues that I am striving to work out. It does have some good stuff on the transracial aspects of their experience as well, and I think it is a good way to kind of get inside the head of a woman who is going through this type of experience.
Feel free to let me know your thoughts and feelings on any of the books I end up listing, as I will be with mine. And also feel free to suggest books that you think would be helpful, or that were helpful to you. I will try to do my best to keep up, and to post my 'review' for everyone to see. I really hope that all of you take some time to read at least one book, or check out some of the other resources I post here, so that you will not only be better able to understand what we are doing, why we are doing it, the challenges we will be facing, but so that you are more informed about some of the issues that will soon become so central to our (and therefore yours) family. Love you all.
So I just finished 'Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother.' It is a very short, very easy read about a woman's experience with open adoption and transracial adoption. I don't know if it is for everyone, personally I think it was wonderful, but some people may be upset by her total honesty with her thoughts and emotions during the entire experience. It is nice to know that I am not some horrible person because of some of the thoughts that I have and some of the issues that I am striving to work out. It does have some good stuff on the transracial aspects of their experience as well, and I think it is a good way to kind of get inside the head of a woman who is going through this type of experience.
Feel free to let me know your thoughts and feelings on any of the books I end up listing, as I will be with mine. And also feel free to suggest books that you think would be helpful, or that were helpful to you. I will try to do my best to keep up, and to post my 'review' for everyone to see. I really hope that all of you take some time to read at least one book, or check out some of the other resources I post here, so that you will not only be better able to understand what we are doing, why we are doing it, the challenges we will be facing, but so that you are more informed about some of the issues that will soon become so central to our (and therefore yours) family. Love you all.
What is the opposite of smoothly?
Seriously. I just found out this morning, completely by chance, that I am oblivious to the rest of the world and apparently live under a rock. When did postage go up to 41 cents? And why didn't anyone tell me? I believe it is the civic duty of the USPS to announce these things in a timely and very public manner. You know, send something to your house via the mail, maybe post fliers or even hire one of those airplanes with the banners to fly around for a week or so and make sure that those of us who barely know what day of the week it is, let alone the date (thank goodness for Timex watches), know these things that can affect us in such profound ways.
So needless to say, I am expecting to get the extra info we needed to send to CHI for our application back in the mail. Apparently it takes about a week to get it back according to the envelope Travis just got back in the mail, so any day now it should be popping up. Joy. I think we may make a run at the record for longest time to get an application through the process. See, there is always a silver lining.
So hopefully things won't take too much longer and things will actually begin to go smoothly with our process. Perhaps this is us just getting all of the hiccups over with in the beginning. How great would that be? But I will definately keep you all posted, so no worries there.
So needless to say, I am expecting to get the extra info we needed to send to CHI for our application back in the mail. Apparently it takes about a week to get it back according to the envelope Travis just got back in the mail, so any day now it should be popping up. Joy. I think we may make a run at the record for longest time to get an application through the process. See, there is always a silver lining.
So hopefully things won't take too much longer and things will actually begin to go smoothly with our process. Perhaps this is us just getting all of the hiccups over with in the beginning. How great would that be? But I will definately keep you all posted, so no worries there.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Some Witty Lyric About Time
Unfortuantely I can not think of a short, witty, fairly known song lyric about time and how stinkin' slowly it passes due to the fact that I got up uber early to make it to lab uber early to be done uber early for the holiday. Therefore my brain is uber mush, and you all must suffer the consequences.
Right now we are in phase 1 waiting, and it is way worse than I had thought it would be. And it is only two weeks. I guess maybe it is just the uncertainty of awaiting 'acceptance'. Once that hurdle has been cleared the waiting won't be so bad, at least we will know what the outcome will be. I have a million questions and worries raging through my head. When is the 2 week wait for application acceptance over? Did the count start the day I mailed, or the day they got it in the mail? Or maybe it was the day they finally opened it. And did the count get restarted when we had to send some more stuff in? What does it mean if we don't know by the 2 week mark? What does it mean that my computer took 15 minutes to boot up on Monday? Aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh.
Okay, I am fine now. I guess it is just hard waiting and wondering and feeling judged. It is another case of I feel so close to finally starting our family, but it is still an obstacle course and several months away. What happens if I fall off the rope into the mud pit? Is it a do-over, or a go back to the beginng, do not pass go, do not collect $200? Ok, enough with the convoluted metaphors, I think it is fairly obvious my brain is still asleep. We will know soon enough, hopefully in the next week (that would be two weeks from the day they recieved it), and I am sure I will look back at these entries and laugh about me being worried about nothing (knock on wood).
Hope everyone enjoys their Fourth of July. Watch lots of fireworks, eat lots of burgers, and write your name in the air as many times as possible with your sparkler. But be careful. Sparklers are the number two culprit in firework injuries, second only to fire crackers.
Right now we are in phase 1 waiting, and it is way worse than I had thought it would be. And it is only two weeks. I guess maybe it is just the uncertainty of awaiting 'acceptance'. Once that hurdle has been cleared the waiting won't be so bad, at least we will know what the outcome will be. I have a million questions and worries raging through my head. When is the 2 week wait for application acceptance over? Did the count start the day I mailed, or the day they got it in the mail? Or maybe it was the day they finally opened it. And did the count get restarted when we had to send some more stuff in? What does it mean if we don't know by the 2 week mark? What does it mean that my computer took 15 minutes to boot up on Monday? Aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh.
Okay, I am fine now. I guess it is just hard waiting and wondering and feeling judged. It is another case of I feel so close to finally starting our family, but it is still an obstacle course and several months away. What happens if I fall off the rope into the mud pit? Is it a do-over, or a go back to the beginng, do not pass go, do not collect $200? Ok, enough with the convoluted metaphors, I think it is fairly obvious my brain is still asleep. We will know soon enough, hopefully in the next week (that would be two weeks from the day they recieved it), and I am sure I will look back at these entries and laugh about me being worried about nothing (knock on wood).
Hope everyone enjoys their Fourth of July. Watch lots of fireworks, eat lots of burgers, and write your name in the air as many times as possible with your sparkler. But be careful. Sparklers are the number two culprit in firework injuries, second only to fire crackers.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Some Basics
I have had a couple of questions about the 'plan' lately. First of all, I am hoping that there are a lot of family members here, and if there is anyone that you can think of that doesn't have this address, feel free to send it to them.
So our application is in, and technically one week is almost down. For the general timeline of the process, check out the CHI website, just follow the links to the Ethiopian program. So of course, as I said before, I am indeed a bit stressed out hoping that everything goes well. But if things go smoothly, we are hoping to have our family together within a year.
Our dream is to bring home either twin infants or siblings, one an infant and the other under 3. That is our hope, and that is where our heart is. Hopefully it will be one boy and one girl, I know Travis would love a boy, and I just can't deny that I would love a daughter. Who knows what will really happen, perhaps there will be a wonderful sibling group of three, maybe twins that have an older sibling they want to keep together, and we will just have to see what God lays on our hearts. Whatever happens, we will be so happy and it will be very wonderful.
So our application is in, and technically one week is almost down. For the general timeline of the process, check out the CHI website, just follow the links to the Ethiopian program. So of course, as I said before, I am indeed a bit stressed out hoping that everything goes well. But if things go smoothly, we are hoping to have our family together within a year.
Our dream is to bring home either twin infants or siblings, one an infant and the other under 3. That is our hope, and that is where our heart is. Hopefully it will be one boy and one girl, I know Travis would love a boy, and I just can't deny that I would love a daughter. Who knows what will really happen, perhaps there will be a wonderful sibling group of three, maybe twins that have an older sibling they want to keep together, and we will just have to see what God lays on our hearts. Whatever happens, we will be so happy and it will be very wonderful.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Application Away!
Today is the day! Our application is in the mail and on its way to the agency. We are very excited, we are on our way. Bethany was amazing as I freaked out about 4 times before I even sealed the envelope. I think this process (and my blogging honestly about it) will probably expose several of my more endearing traits, such as my obsessive worrying about stuff that is beyond my control and feeling like I am being judged. That is kind of how I feel right now. Our life was condensed onto a 6 page application in all of its imperfect glory and now someone will look through it and decide if we are worthy to bring children into our family. Plus I had to include pictures with me in them! Aaarrrrgggghhh. Let the judging begin.
Of course I am quite fortunate to have the support of people who have gone through this before. I shot off a quick email to Pam, she got right back to me, and once again reminded me that they are not out to exclude us, but trying to figure out our situation so that they can do their best for us. I know this is true, but it is hard exposing everything about yourself without worrying about what kind of ammunition people will have against you. Sounds like I have had some bad experiences in the past, eh? But that is past, and I will put my faith in God, and no matter what happens, I will have Travis, and my friends, and my family. Honestly, that is more blessing than I know what to do with, but here is hoping that we will get a little more on top of that.
So the waiting begins. It will take about 2 weeks until we hear back about our application. Hurry up and wait seems to be the theme of our journey to children, so we will at least be somewhat prepared for that aspect of this process. Which means lots of blogging for all of you to read and stay up to date with me. I will also be doing lots of research on Ethiopia, and hope to keep you all informed on my discoveries. I am also going to be listing links that I think might be good for everyone to check out just to get a feel for Ethiopia, for international adoption, and other stuff that may be of use for us all to be as prepared as we can be for accepting our new ones into the family. So keep checking, I'll try to be good at updating the links as well.
Of course I am quite fortunate to have the support of people who have gone through this before. I shot off a quick email to Pam, she got right back to me, and once again reminded me that they are not out to exclude us, but trying to figure out our situation so that they can do their best for us. I know this is true, but it is hard exposing everything about yourself without worrying about what kind of ammunition people will have against you. Sounds like I have had some bad experiences in the past, eh? But that is past, and I will put my faith in God, and no matter what happens, I will have Travis, and my friends, and my family. Honestly, that is more blessing than I know what to do with, but here is hoping that we will get a little more on top of that.
So the waiting begins. It will take about 2 weeks until we hear back about our application. Hurry up and wait seems to be the theme of our journey to children, so we will at least be somewhat prepared for that aspect of this process. Which means lots of blogging for all of you to read and stay up to date with me. I will also be doing lots of research on Ethiopia, and hope to keep you all informed on my discoveries. I am also going to be listing links that I think might be good for everyone to check out just to get a feel for Ethiopia, for international adoption, and other stuff that may be of use for us all to be as prepared as we can be for accepting our new ones into the family. So keep checking, I'll try to be good at updating the links as well.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Almost on Time
Well, I know that our deadline for our application was last week, but it will be going off in the mail tomorrow. It may be a bit behind what we wanted, but it was a long weekend of cleaning and LOTS of yard work. Now the front of our house has bushes and looks all pretty. It is very exciting. So today we will be taking pictures, developing pictures, and typing up the last of our stuff for our application.
Some of you may have noticed that the blog entry on CHI's web page about the Ethiopian referral does not have any pictures. There is a little blurb about it, the pictures will be back up after the adoption becomes finalized. Hopefully some of you saw it, if not, there are several adoption blog sites on which people have posted pictures of their trip and their kids. Very cute!
I will post some of the pics we take for our application so everyone can see us when we actually try to look nice. It does happen sometimes. :-0 Hope the rest of everyone's weekend is fantastic, take some time to relax!
Some of you may have noticed that the blog entry on CHI's web page about the Ethiopian referral does not have any pictures. There is a little blurb about it, the pictures will be back up after the adoption becomes finalized. Hopefully some of you saw it, if not, there are several adoption blog sites on which people have posted pictures of their trip and their kids. Very cute!
I will post some of the pics we take for our application so everyone can see us when we actually try to look nice. It does happen sometimes. :-0 Hope the rest of everyone's weekend is fantastic, take some time to relax!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Mid-Summer's Eve
Today is our 4 year anniversary! I can't believe it has already been that long, and yet it seems like there wasn't ever really a me without him. Nothing too fancy planned for the day, I had work, he had meetings, and Kali's obedience class is tonight. Then we are going to my parents' for a bit. So maybe tomorrow once we get some planting done in the front of the house and our application all wrapped up we can have some us time. Who knows, we might actually leave the house and go to the same place together. I know, it is a tall order, but after all, it is a special occasion. :-)
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
CHI's First Ethiopian Referral
Besides the fact that this is so exciting, I thought that it would be something neat for all of you to check out. We have decided to go with Children's Hope International as our agency, they are amazing. We personally know two families that have gone through them, both with nothing but positive things to say about the experience. So far I have loved every second of interaction with them, everyone has been super nice and helpful. So this is a link to the CHI blog where you can find the article about the referral. If you click on the picture you will see the full size pic and you can actually see the picture of the baby boy very clearly. Last night when I saw it I cried, I just couldn't help it. He is so amazingly beautiful, and I know that it will be us in that picture someday. Love you all, enjoy the story.
http://www.childrenshopeint.blogspot.com/
http://www.childrenshopeint.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Our Story
We are adopting from Ethiopia!
I am sure everyone is wondering just what is going on, and how we got here. Just a quick warning, this entry is very candid and a bit personal, so consider yourself forewarned. Well, it has been about 2 years since we began trying to start our family, and so far we have not been blessed with an addition. As much as Travis and I love each other and enjoy our lives together (for the most part :-)) we have both felt the aching in our hearts at the absence of little Tara and Travi running around the house making more of a mess than the puppies could ever hope to. So we went to a specialist, we tried the drugs, the shots, the oh-so-romantic conception in the doctors office, and only came away with lots more gray hairs and lots less money. This was heartbreaking, but we knew we could only go so far with this route, and for us it was the end of that part of our journey.
The interesting part of this story was the possibility of adoption. Travis and I had talked about it before we found out our road to a family would be bumpy (with a speed limit of 5mph) and definately thought that it was something that was for us, regardless of us having any children of our own. We were going to stick to the two kid rule: replace ourselves and no more. If we wanted more kids, we would adopt. So God figured we could just skip out on all of the making sure we didn't have more than 2 of our own and cut right to the chase. Which I must say, once I got over not getting my way (why does this always take so long?) feels so stinkin' right and I am jumping for joy to get the show on the road. So the short version of this is - we were going to adopt anyways.
Many people ask, why international adoption? There are so many layers to this question, and to our answer that I will keep it short sweet and simple. I have always considered it my preferred choice, not exactly sure why, or where that comes from. And to be completely honest, there is appeal in the somewhat misconcieved idea that it is the only way to make sure someone doesn't come back in 10 years and try to take our baby. I am also keen on the idea of being able to open my heart and my home to give a child a chance in this world when they may not otherwise have one. I think it is a desire that God has placed in our hearts, and we are going for it!
So the big question for everyone I am sure (as it was for us as well); where are we going to search for our children? The answer, while not a total no-brainer, became quite clear to me - Ethiopia! Can I tell you exactly why? No. But I can tell you, I have always had a heart for Africa (I mean, pyramids, the Nile, gorillas, rainforest, ancient civilizations, need I go on?) Every time I searched for programs across the globe, I came back to Ethiopia. And I mean every time. So my simple, one word, authoritative answer to this question is GOD. The way that everything fell into place to lead my heart here, as well as all of the seemingly random events that occured to bring Travis to the same place, there could not possibly be another answer.
And so our story begins as we send off for documents and certificates, check all the boxes and fill in all the blanks so that we can get our application in the mail. Our personal deadline for this is THIS WEEK! It will then be about 2 weeks until we hear back about our application acceptance and start the paper chase. If all runs according to schedule, the estimated arrival date is approximately (on the long side) 12 months. Part of that depends on how quickly we get our paperwork in, then the rest depends on how quickly the courts and governments move.
I will keep everyone as updated as feasible with how things are progressing, feel free to ask questions, make comments, etc. I am insanely excited about doing this with all of the support that Travis and I have come to depend on from our families and friends. How did we get so lucky?
Love you all,
Tara
I am sure everyone is wondering just what is going on, and how we got here. Just a quick warning, this entry is very candid and a bit personal, so consider yourself forewarned. Well, it has been about 2 years since we began trying to start our family, and so far we have not been blessed with an addition. As much as Travis and I love each other and enjoy our lives together (for the most part :-)) we have both felt the aching in our hearts at the absence of little Tara and Travi running around the house making more of a mess than the puppies could ever hope to. So we went to a specialist, we tried the drugs, the shots, the oh-so-romantic conception in the doctors office, and only came away with lots more gray hairs and lots less money. This was heartbreaking, but we knew we could only go so far with this route, and for us it was the end of that part of our journey.
The interesting part of this story was the possibility of adoption. Travis and I had talked about it before we found out our road to a family would be bumpy (with a speed limit of 5mph) and definately thought that it was something that was for us, regardless of us having any children of our own. We were going to stick to the two kid rule: replace ourselves and no more. If we wanted more kids, we would adopt. So God figured we could just skip out on all of the making sure we didn't have more than 2 of our own and cut right to the chase. Which I must say, once I got over not getting my way (why does this always take so long?) feels so stinkin' right and I am jumping for joy to get the show on the road. So the short version of this is - we were going to adopt anyways.
Many people ask, why international adoption? There are so many layers to this question, and to our answer that I will keep it short sweet and simple. I have always considered it my preferred choice, not exactly sure why, or where that comes from. And to be completely honest, there is appeal in the somewhat misconcieved idea that it is the only way to make sure someone doesn't come back in 10 years and try to take our baby. I am also keen on the idea of being able to open my heart and my home to give a child a chance in this world when they may not otherwise have one. I think it is a desire that God has placed in our hearts, and we are going for it!
So the big question for everyone I am sure (as it was for us as well); where are we going to search for our children? The answer, while not a total no-brainer, became quite clear to me - Ethiopia! Can I tell you exactly why? No. But I can tell you, I have always had a heart for Africa (I mean, pyramids, the Nile, gorillas, rainforest, ancient civilizations, need I go on?) Every time I searched for programs across the globe, I came back to Ethiopia. And I mean every time. So my simple, one word, authoritative answer to this question is GOD. The way that everything fell into place to lead my heart here, as well as all of the seemingly random events that occured to bring Travis to the same place, there could not possibly be another answer.
And so our story begins as we send off for documents and certificates, check all the boxes and fill in all the blanks so that we can get our application in the mail. Our personal deadline for this is THIS WEEK! It will then be about 2 weeks until we hear back about our application acceptance and start the paper chase. If all runs according to schedule, the estimated arrival date is approximately (on the long side) 12 months. Part of that depends on how quickly we get our paperwork in, then the rest depends on how quickly the courts and governments move.
I will keep everyone as updated as feasible with how things are progressing, feel free to ask questions, make comments, etc. I am insanely excited about doing this with all of the support that Travis and I have come to depend on from our families and friends. How did we get so lucky?
Love you all,
Tara
Satement of Intent :-)
Well, I have been meaning to get this set up for some time now, and I guess this was the right time. Not exactly sure what the goal of this is going to be, I guess to help keep our friends and family up to date with everything. It will also be nice to have a place to just vent my gabillion thoughts/day on the whole process. (I am sure some people will be at least a bit appreciative to not have to be my constant sounding board - I love you and you are the best.) And I suppose if this in some way helps someone else out there with what they are going through or experiencing, then it will be a blessing for them and for me to have this be of some assistance.
I will probably do another entry to make a better introduction to what is going on, but I think that it is important to thank God right off the bat. Everything that has lead us to this point has been through His direct impact and influence on our lives. Strange how He pokes us and prods us in the right direction waiting for us to finally get the hint, how patient He must be! I know that this will be an amazing experience, much more so than I can possibly imagine at this point, and it all will be due to His amazing grace. So I hope you will join us, at least periodically, to see how our journey unfolds and how God will bless our lives.
I will probably do another entry to make a better introduction to what is going on, but I think that it is important to thank God right off the bat. Everything that has lead us to this point has been through His direct impact and influence on our lives. Strange how He pokes us and prods us in the right direction waiting for us to finally get the hint, how patient He must be! I know that this will be an amazing experience, much more so than I can possibly imagine at this point, and it all will be due to His amazing grace. So I hope you will join us, at least periodically, to see how our journey unfolds and how God will bless our lives.
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