Crazy Days

Well, it has been kind of crazy here lately. Then I went to post and I was locked out of my blog because somehow it had been flagged as SPAM!! But it is all cleared up, and blogger said it actually happens kind of regularly. But worry no more, I am back.

So, some of you have heard, others have not. I recieved a phone call this past Wednesday and was informed our application is not going to be accepted at this time. We are not exactly sure what is going on, we have been told two different things, but what I actually was told on the phone was it was due to our couples counseling. They felt our we were not ready to start a homestudy if we were still going, so maybe in 6-12 months we could try to re-apply if we have completed our counseling and everything is taken care of.

I have ranted and raved about lots of things related to this to anyone who will listen (it is probably a good thing I couldn't post), done lots of thinking, not enough praying, and soaked up advice like a sponge. We will not let this get us down. We both know that our hearts are 100% into this and it is something that God has layed on our hearts. So the question that I am sure everyone is asking is WHAT NEXT? I am glad that you asked. Here's the list.

• We will continue to persue this. We plan on calling and talking to the agency about the issues, what we need to do, and what the chances of us getting accepted by the 6 month mark (12 months seems way too long to wait, I am still working on my patience).
• We are going to continue our counseling. It is not something to hide, or be ashamed of, and personally I applaud any couple who seeks help seeing as it is so much easier to either 1) ignore the problem and pretend you are the greatest married couple of all time or 2) throw in the towel and just get a divorce. I think that the more we work on our communtication, the better our relationship will be and the stronger we will become by going through this experience. We are also going to have our counselor write a letter for us to send in. Will this help? Don't know, but it is worth a shot.
• Keep our options open. There are a lot of agencies out there with wonderful, ethical practices that people have had great experiences with. And whether or not we choose to stay with CHI, I think that these places could be a wonderful resource for us in better understanding what is expected by the Ethiopian government and what is more of the agencies personal requirements.
• Despite my initial impulse to delete this blog the moment I received the phone call, I am going to keep on blogging. Not only to help you, our friends and family, stay up-to-date, but maybe to help someone else out there that is having a similar experience. This whole adoption thing is new to us, we don't know the best/easiest way to get through, and so therefore we are going to have struggles and hardships. Not everyone (would guess not even a fair percentage) of families who adopt are perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, sometimes big ones, but the important thing is did you learn from it?
• PRAY PRAY PRAY! The one resource I have not relied upon like I should is God. He lead us here for a reason, and though we may not know why or even how, we will trust in Him and remain faithful. I get frustrated because I feel like there were signs that lead us to adopt from Ethiopia through CHI, and now it hasn't worked out the way I wanted so were there signs, is this really what we are supposed to do? I could make myself crazy second guessing every little detail about the past 3 months, but I don't really feel like being crazy. I like being *relatively* sane at least most of the time, and well, God probably likes me that way too.

So please pray for us, and continue to pray for those who are in the process of building their family in this way, as well as those who are losing it. We love you all, and no worries, there will be kiddos one way or another. ;-)