Say a Little Prayer

Today makes it exactly 8 months since we lost our baby. Hopefully everyone can take a couple of minutes out of their day and say a prayer for all of those out there who have gone through a similar experience, it is devastating to anyone at any stage of pregnancy. We knew our angel for exactly one week before God called them back home.

It has been hard to deal with the fact that we would have a tiny one of our own right now with Travis's eyes and my tiny head and curly hair if only things had gone differently. Then I think about how much Travis and I have grown in the past 8 months, and even though we went through some really difficult times, we are closer now than ever before. And I have done a lot of soul searching and have decided that the time is here to make a lot of changes about how I view the world and how I deal with hardship (good-bye guilt, mostly). Most importantly I have come a few steps closer to really surrendering it all to God. I have realized that my pursuit of children was obviously on my terms and was a reaction to the fact that I feel as if I can't control anything in my life. While I am by no means there yet, or perfect in any way, I know my relationship with the Father is closer than ever before and it has given me a sense of peace that I have not known in a very long time. I suppose there truly is a silver lining to every situation, sometimes it just takes a long time to pull back far enough to see it.

So again, please say a little prayer for those who have angels in heaven, that they may find a sense of peace with their grief and not give up hope on having children in their life.